I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
