hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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