I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
