I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
