Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize