What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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