You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
