Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
