so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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