I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
