WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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