So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
