I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
