umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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