I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
