Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
