You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
