bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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