i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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