Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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