Who wears a wallet chain?!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
