did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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