So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
