She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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