bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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