OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
