help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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