im about as happy as oj after his trial
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
