butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
