I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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