they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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