If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
