Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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