I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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