He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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