Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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