The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
