No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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