Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
