lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
