This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And then he peed in my hair
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