I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
