He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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