I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
