We're like a lot better than the average bears
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
