Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
