sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can text with my tongue
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.