I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
