my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
