I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize