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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.

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• (408): View more from California

  You drunk yet?

  (925): View more from California

  Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

  (408): View more from California

  Cant make any promises.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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• (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mankini haunted my dreams.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.

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