so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.