My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
