I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
