like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
third nipple confirmed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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