tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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