Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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