i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
