I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
