420 ftw
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
