I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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