No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
