i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
