I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
