do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
