I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
