Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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