No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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