Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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