last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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