Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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