Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
